Friday, December 31, 2010

Talk to the money guy

"Talk to the money guy." That's all his email said. My boss throws
his Blackberry into the Ganges, cancels his email account, saddles a
Nepalese mule and casts himself into the Himalayas. In his only
communication since, you'd think he might try to reassure me about the
pay situation, namely that I still haven't gotten any. You'd think
he'd see the sales numbers and thank me for my tireless dedication.
You'd think he'd at least tell me where he is. Nope. Just "Talk to
the money guy."

Just before getting on the plane last month, the boss slipped me a
crumpled business card and whispered cryptically, "You'll know when,"
then turned and boarded. Now in front of me, the card is quite plain.
Just a local phone number, the name NICK JAMES, and below that his
title of DRIVER. Up top in parentheses my boss has scribbled "Money

You'd think the international accountant slash order processor slash blogger, which is me, would be considered the Money Guy. Guess not. Maybe this guy
is gonna pay me. Finally!

On the phone, he is short, suspicious of me. In the background I can
hear cartoons. Bravestarr, I think. After a long pause, he asks what
the problem is. I tell him I don't know, the boss just told me to
contact the Money Guy. "Ohhhhhhh," he says like Archimedes in a
jacuzzi, "you have to sell everything by 2011." Why? "Because that's
when the laws change." What laws? "Never mind that. Hey, aren't you
the guy with drink coupons for me?"

I told him about the situation at the Come On Inn (the bartender no
longer honoring the coupons) and the fact that I had actually been
hoping that he, the Money Guy, might be able to get me compensated for
my past, present, and continuing services. When it was finally agreed
that neither of us had any money for the other, he asked me for a ride
to the bar. But aren't you the driver? I asked. He hung up.

I didn't get a chance to tell him about Dex's Hurry-Up-2011 Sale. From now until 11:11am on 1-1-2011 you
can get the most talked about WIKILEAKS T-shirt on the net for 11% off
with FREE SHIPPING. Act now! Slamtees: pissing Dex off task after task at a time!

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